Stress Test – Feeling like the dumb kid in class and the teacher is passing me on…

Okay, so after thouroughly going through the material in the program, aparently my first day is not upon us… At least not the real first day. I foresee hell in my near future!

So I did the stress test, P90x version of a physical fitness test. What I learned was that I am surprised the doctors haven’t noticed yet that I’m barely breathing. Seriously, when did I get this incredibly out of shape. I mean, even when I first put on a few extra pounds I could still play sports at the park, hike, run… Not now, I feel like I am completely allergic to this shit.

But, I did learn this. I completed the “Master Cleanse” which was basically a 10 day starvation diet, which honestly I don’t think that helped to prep me for the rigors of this program. I know the cleanse left me feeling sluggish and fatigued only to rapidly within a week put back on all 15lbs that I lost. So, though it was fun losing them, it’s obviously a bullshit diet plan for you unless you are going to opt in to a vegan lifestyle from there on out… which I am not.

I love garlic, onions, sauces, cheese, and butter! So, that means I need to work that shit off as I eat it. I think mindset may have a lot to do with this stuff. So I have decided that even though I do have a weight loss goal, I really only give a shit about looking fit, but more importantly feeling fit and healthy. I don’t want to feel winded after walking up the stairs, or tying my damn shoes.

So, I did the physical fitness test and I could hear Tony Horton laughing at me in the background, calling men names and chuckling with all of the other uber fit p90x’ers and I can’t blame them. My alternate personality was over there with them, taunting me. Well, I sure showed them. Bastards! That’s right, I passed bitches! Ok, by passing, I think their bar is set a little low. I have done some of the p90x routines before and this fitness test is like the stretch before the workout in the regular routine. I think they passed me on purpose to watch me die an agonizing and painful death with shortness of breath, drowning in my own sweat.
We’ll see… Wish me luck… the Shit hits the fan tomorrow.

PS. Tomorrow may be a video blog if I am not able to move my fingers.

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